Did you mean what you said?
by Smoshersnorlax
Summary: (Ianthony) Back in November there was a mini explosion about people hating on Ian on Tumblr. Let's find out what he thought of it...
1. Did you mean what you said?

**A/N: A response to the Ian hate on Tumblr, if you don't know what happened then you will after this story...maybe. People need to stop hating on him! He's perfect, okay?!**

**Just in case you were wondering I only updated this chapter for some spelling corrections. If you've already read it then you don't need to read it again :)**

Did you mean what you said?

A lump formed in Ian's throat as he scrolled through Tumblr. Dozens of captioned pictures of him saying that he's ugly and fat and will never be as good as Anthony. He tried to block it out, but he couldn't tear his eyes from the harsh words on the screen. This was why he tried to stay away from social networks, it was worse than the comments on Youtube. At least on Youtube, the majority of the fans would support him and berate the mean commenter until they felt forced to remove their comment. But this was different. Ian continued staring at the screen, the words burning themselves into the back of his mind until he heard Anthony walk into their living room. He immediately closed the page and slammed the laptop shut, trying not to show the hurt on his face. But Anthony knew his face too well and could immediately tell that something was wrong.

"Ian, are you okay?" Anthony asked, his voice filled with concern.

"I'm fine," Ian replied, forcing a smile on his face. It was obviously forced, but Anthony didn't say anymore about it. Ian clearly didn't want to talk about it.

"So, are you ready to film lunchtime?" Anthony asked tentatively.

"Sure thing," Ian said. He didn't sound as enthusiastic as usual, but Anthony just let it slide. _You can't expect someone to feel upbeat all the time,_ he thought to himself. "It's my turn to drive, right?"

"Yep," Anthony confirmed, and they grabbed their camera, money and Ian's car keys before heading out.

Anthony zoomed in on Ian's face as they cruised along the road. He had no idea where to eat, as usual. They'd done so many episodes now that every food they ate just felt generic. Well, except for pizza. That stuff will never get old. Anthony's stomach grumbled as he imagined warm slices of pepperoni pizza filling his mouth. That's when he made their decision- they were getting pizza.

"Hey guys!" Anthony greeted the viewers energetically. "So today we're gonna get pizza!" Ian just rolled his eyes and smiled.

"I love how varied your diet is Anthony," Ian said, laughing slightly at Anthony's childlike love for pizza.

"Well you can have loads of different toppings on a pizza," Anthony defended, joining in with Ian's laughter. "I bet I could live on just pizza for the rest of my life if I used different toppings every day."

"Well that's a bet that we're never going to make," Ian said, pulling a face that expressed his disgust. "Just imagine how fat..." Ian couldn't finish his sentence as he remembered the painful words from earlier. He'd always had insecurities about his weight. As a kid he was always a bit chubby, but then he discovered his love for cross-country and lost weight, he even gained a bit of muscle. Unfortunately, between his asthma and the amount of time he had to put into Smosh, he'd just given it up. He missed running and he knew he'd got slightly tubbier since stopping, but he didn't need his childhood coming back to haunt him. A childhood filled with taunts about his weight and paranoia that someone was constantly whispering about him behind his back. It had stopped once he started middle school and became friends with Anthony even though he didn't start losing weight until high school, but he would never forget what it was like before that.

"Ian, are you okay? You just randomly stopped in the middle of your sentence," Anthony looked at his boyfriend, worried again and thinking back to what happened earlier. _He had that same expression on his face when I walked in and he was on the laptop. And I really don't like it. _Ian just sniffed quietly before answering.

"I just got distracted, that's all," Ian replied, hoping that Anthony wouldn't ask any further questions. He didn't want him to see how a few anonymous posts had managed to upset him so much. Anthony never seemed fazed by negative comments, he couldn't possibly understand.

"Just don't crash the car!" Anthony joked; completely unaware of what Ian was truly feeling at that moment. "Can we get pepperoni pizza?"

"Whatever you want Anthony, whatever you want," Ian replied, before turning into the pizza place. Another good thing about getting pizza nearly every episode, it was only ten minutes away.

He parked the car and Anthony started to get out until he looked over at Ian. He was just sitting completely still, his hands still gripping the steering wheel, staring straight ahead of him. It was as if he could see something that no one else could. The look of sadness on Ian's face made Anthony's heart clench. He hated seeing Ian like this and being unable to help him. He was usually so happy and upbeat, always able to make him laugh and smile no matter what. He took one of Ian's hands in his and used the other to gently turn Ian's face towards him.

"What's the matter Ian?" Anthony asked softly, looking deep into his pale blue eyes which were slightly damp. "Something happened this morning that you're not telling me about."

The way Ian turned his head away in shame confirmed what Anthony was saying, he was just unable to look at the love in Anthony's eyes whilst knowing how the world saw him. He blinked repeatedly, trying not to start crying in front of him before answering.

"I just don't feel very well. I have a headache," Ian replied, hoping this would satisfy Anthony's questioning. He wasn't even lying completely, his head did hurt, but that was due to the fact that he was holding back tears. Anthony wasn't fooled, but he decided now wasn't the time for an interrogation. That could wait until they'd finished filming lunchtime. "I'm just gonna wait in the car, if that's okay. And you're driving on the way back." Anthony just sighed and got out of the car, hoping Ian would be alright on his own.

**Ian's POV**

_Pull it together Ian! You don't even know that person and they don't know you. Who cares what they think? People are always gonna be mean but that shouldn't matter. _

That's what Ian kept trying to tell himself but he couldn't help thinking that the person was right. That he was fat and ugly and Anthony is way better than he'll ever be. People always fangirled over Anthony and called him hot but Ian never got the same treatment. Even when he did the "Ask a gay guy" for Ian is bored, Will said that Anthony was more attractive to gay guys. It seemed to him that everyone thought he was just the shorter, fatter and uglier half of Smosh.

_Why does this bug me so much? I hope Anthony doesn't think the same way. _

**Anthony's POV**

Anthony walked into the pizza place, still confused and slightly worried about the way Ian was acting. _It's just not normal! One minute he was fine and the next he looked like he was having a breakdown or something. I bet it has something to do with what was on his laptop before I walked in. I need to get him to tell me what it is._

He forced a smile onto his face as he got is order.

"Hey there, can I get a large pepperoni pizza?" he asked the girl at the serving counter.

"Sure thing," the girl replied as she entered in his order. "Do you want any drinks with that?"

"Two cokes please," Anthony said whilst getting his wallet out. Ian and Anthony frequently came to this particular take out for Lunchtime with Smosh because they were too lazy to think of anywhere else to go. Once the girl took a proper look at Anthony, she immediately recognised him.

"Are you the guy that normally does a vlogging type thing with your friend?" she asked with growing curiosity.

"Yep, that's me," Anthony sighed inwardly as he braced himself for the inevitable follow up question.

"Where is he?" she asked, just as Anthony expected she would.

"Um...he's in the car. He wasn't feeling too great." Anthony explained reluctantly.

"Aw, what's wrong?" she asked sympathetically.

"Look, I only came here to get some pizza. Not fricking twenty questions!" Anthony snapped, losing his patience with her nosiness.

"I was only asking!" she snapped back in an annoyed tone. Anthony instantly regretted snapping at her, it wasn't her fault that he couldn't work out what was wrong with Ian.

"I'm sorry. It's just I don't know what's wrong with him exactly and it's making me worried," Anthony said apologetically.

"I'm sure he'll be fine with a friend as good as you. Here's my number if you want to talk about it," she assured him, whilst writing her number on a napkin. "The name's Kristin by the way."

"I love that name! I'm Anthony," he smiled as he took the napkin off her.

"I don't really like it that much. I'm thinking of changing it," she replied, blushing slightly.

"Well I think it's awesome. Anyway, if things don't improve, I'll call you tonight." Anthony said.

"That's fine, everyone needs someone to talk to about their problems every once in a while," she replied cheerfully. "That will be $14.99 by the way." She handed over the piping hot pizza and the two drinks in exchange for Anthony's $20 bill.

"Keep the change," he grinned as he walked out. For some reason he was in a really good mood, he couldn't really explain it to himself but he knew it had something to do with Kristin. There was just something about her that made him smile.

He was still grinning as he walked back to the car but it faded when he saw Ian's forlorn expression. He opened the car door and passed the food over to Ian before sitting down.

"Hey babe, you still not feeling well?" Anthony asked, his voice filled with concern.

"You took a long time. Was the place really busy or something?" Ian asked, trying to avoid Anthony's question.

"Uhhh…yeah. Something like that," Anthony said nervously. He'd completely lost track of time when he was talking to Kristin; he'd just been so distracted. Ian gave him a look of suspicion before turning away. "Anyway, are you gonna answer my question?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm fine" Ian mumbled, trying and failing at convincing Anthony.

"We don't have to film lunchtime today if you're not feeling great. We can always do it later seeing as we've got the next month covered." Anthony said as he stroked Ian's hair affectionately. This brought a small smile to Ian's face. It was good that Anthony cared that much and he wasn't showing any signs of annoyance at all the hassle he was causing.

"You sure about that?" Ian asked.

"Absolutely! You're my only priority right now," Anthony said as he leaned over to give Ian a light kiss.

"Thanks Anthony. That means a lot," Ian said gratefully. Anthony started the car and they drove for the next ten minutes in a comfortable silence.

**So there's the start of my new fanfic. What do you guys think? Let me know and hopefully I'll be able to post some new stuff really soon. Happy smoshing :)**


	2. Failed Lunchtime with Smosh

**Hey guys sorry this chapter is really short but I'm lazy :P**

**Hopefully it will be worthy!**

Chapter 2

"Mmmm this is sooo good!" Anthony exclaimed loudly as he took a big bite of his pizza.

"That's what she said," Ian smirked.

"Your mom?" Anthony retorted whilst laughing, he was glad to see that Ian was acting like himself again.

"What is it with you and my mom?" Ian asked whilst shaking his head. "We're not even filming anything and you're still mentioning her."

"Aw are you jealous? Don't worry, I won't ever love your mom more than you," Anthony teased while pinching Ian's cheeks in a patronizing manner. Ian just slapped his hand away affectionately.

"Well anyways, I'm full. Might as well add more to that script we started yesterday." Ian said as he got up from the table.

"You're full already? But you usually eat way more than that!" Anthony said in surprise. Ian just sighed and looked down at his body before answering.

"Maybe that's half my problem," he murmured before walking away.

Anthony was extremely confused by this point. _One minute we were joking around and the next he's looking all subdued? And what did he mean by "Maybe that's half my problem"?_ He was desperate for answers so he went to their study where he thought Ian would be. When he opened the door, he found Ian sitting at their work desk with his head buried in his arms. His face was completely hidden.

"Ian what's the matter?" Anthony asked as he sat down in the chair next to him. "You've been acting strange since this morning when you were on the laptop."

"You wouldn't understand," Ian mumbled, refusing to look at him.

"Try me," Anthony replied while he pulled on Ian's arm in an attempt to get him to look up.

"It's stupid," Ian said. "You don't need to know."

"If it's upsetting you this much then it's not stupid to me. Please just tell me," Anthony pleaded. He really needed to know how he could make Ian feel better but he couldn't do that if he didn't know what the problem was.

"I'm not telling you!" Ian said forcefully as he jerked his arm away. "I need to get this script done." Anthony was hurt that Ian wouldn't talk to _him _of all people, but he decided to drop the issue. It was only making Ian feel worse. He walked out of the room silently, slamming the door shut behind him.

When he heard the door slam shut, Ian's bottom lip trembled slightly but no tears came._ Stop being a baby and get on with your job! _So that's what he did.

**The next chapter will be longer than that so don't worry :)  
****Let me know what you thought, reviews are always appreciated :D**


	3. Misunderstandings

**Sorry I haven't updated in this story for over a week! I just couldn't bring myself to write it for some reason and then my parents started cutting down on my Internet use and other crazy stuff. But anyway, here's a new chapter. I kind of hate it but whatever.**

* * *

Chapter 3

**Anthony's POV**

_Why is he refusing to tell me? I've never seen him like this before! I know he's upset but he's not treating me like how a good boyfriend should. If I was in his position I would be pouring my heart out to him. Okay that just sounds really dumb. But I just can't deal with the thought of Ian hiding stuff from me. Especially if it's bothering him this much._

Anthony was lying on his back on the bed that he shared with Ian. He always came here to think when he was alone. He would never admit it out loud but he loved breathing in Ian's familiar scent whenever he laid down on it. It helped to calm him down.

_Ian, I love you but I can't help you unless you're open with me! _Anthony groaned in frustration as he tried to figure out what to do. Then he remembered what Kristin had said about calling her and decided he would. He sat up and reached for his phone on the bedside table. The phone rang twice before she picked up.

Kristin: _Hello?_

Anthony: _Hey Kristin, it's Anthony. You know, from earlier._

Kristin: _Oh hi Anthony! I didn't expect you to call me this soon._

Anthony: _Yeah it's just that I could really use someone to talk to right now._

Kristin: _Well…I'm not working at the moment. Do you want to meet up or something?_

Anthony: _Right now?_

Kristin: _If that's okay with you._

Anthony: _Yeah that sounds perfect. Do you want to meet in the park?_

Kristin: _The one really close to the pizza place?_

Anthony: _That's the one. Ian and I used to go there all the time!_

Kristin: _Sounds like a plan. See you in a bit._

Anthony: _See ya!_

As soon as he hung up the phone he rushed to fix his hair and put on a jacket. He was just about to open the front door when Ian appeared behind him.

"Where are you going?" Ian asked. "You're not mad at me are you?"

"It's not that," Anthony sighed. "I've just gotta do something but I'll be back soon."

"Who were you on the phone to?" Ian asked suspiciously. "I swear I heard you talking to someone."

"Ian don't worry about it, seriously," Anthony said as he brushed his lips against Ian's cheek. "You just get some rest and I'll see you later."  
"Anthony it's only 4 o'clock. Why would I need to get some rest at this time of day?" Ian asked him. He was so confused.

"Just do it," Anthony repeated himself. "Today has been stressful and I want you to feel better."

"Okay," Ian said, still unsure about what Anthony meant exactly. But he couldn't help smiling slightly; Anthony really did act like a protective mother sometimes. He moved in to give Ian a quick hug before opening the door.

"I'll see you later," Anthony said as he closed the door without a backwards glance.

The park was so close by that he didn't even have to drive there. And he liked walking, he just didn't do it often enough. The fresh air was definitely welcome after all the hours he usually spent cooped up inside editing a video or something. Once he got to the park, he sat at the top of the yellow slide and waited for Kristin.

**Ian's POV**

As soon as Anthony shut the door, Ian's smile faded. Even though Anthony said he'd be back soon, he just felt so alone. _It's your own fault Ian! You pushed him away. You wanted him to leave you alone and now you've got it._

"WHY DO I SCREW EVERYTHING UP?!" he yelled as he lashed out at the wall. He was so angry with himself that he barely even felt the throbbing in his knuckles. He couldn't do anything right. The fans clearly didn't like him- the various Tumblr posts had made that very clear. And he didn't quite believe Anthony when he had said he wasn't mad. After all, he had kissed Ian's cheek so lightly it was as if he hadn't even done it at all. He was usually more intimate than that. And his hug had been so quick it was as if Anthony was eager to get away from him. He paced the room back and forth as he tried to sort out his thoughts.

_I can't stay in this house any longer. I need to go outside and think._ He opened the door and started walking to his favourite thinking spot.

**Anthony's POV**

"Hey Anthony," he heard a voice from below. He looked down to see Kristin smiling up at him.

"Oh hey Kristin. One second," he said as he slid down the slide.

"Have you been waiting long?" she asked him.

"No I only just got here," he replied. "Do you wanna sit on that bench over there?"

"Sure, why not?" she responded.

They walked over to the bench and sat down and Anthony took a deep breath before he started talking.

"Thanks for agreeing to come here. It means a lot considering we barely know each other," he began. "It's just that I'm worried about Ian."

"Ian's the guy you do your vlogs with right?" she asked.

"Yep," Anthony confirmed. "Yesterday he was fine. You know, laughing and being his general goofy self. But then when I walked into the room today and he was on his laptop he looked really upset, like he was about to cry or something. He slammed it shut before I could see but I know it was something to do with what he saw on there."

"What do you think it could be?" Kristin asked.

"I have no idea!" Anthony groaned in frustration. "We usually tell each other everything and now he won't even talk to me about it!"

"Maybe you should just give him some time before making him talk about it," Kristin suggested.

"That's easier said than done. I care about him a lot and I don't like seeing him upset about something when I can't even help him!" Anthony was starting to choke up so he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. "It's just stressing me out, okay?"

"Hey, it gonna be okay," she put her arm around Anthony to comfort him. Anthony just sighed as he rested his head on her shoulder.

"I really hope so," he replied miserably.

**Ian's POV**

_I'm so messed up right now! _ Ian was walking with his hands shoved in his pockets and his head down. He hated feeling like this, but he couldn't get rid of it. _Why do I find the park so calming? I guess it's because me and Anthony have lots of good memories here._ As he approached the bench in the middle of the park, his eyes widened as he recognised the man sitting there, snuggling up with a random girl.

"ANTHONY, YOU BASTARD!" Ian yelled in disbelief. Anthony looked up from Kristin's shoulder in shock.

"Ian! What are you doing here?" Anthony asked.

"I trusted you!" Ian cried as he took in what was going on. "You said you were going out but I didn't think you'd be cheating on me!"

"What? Ian it's not what it looks like!" Anthony said in defence.

"Yeah he's just a friend," Kristin said as she realised what was going on. She hadn't known Ian and Anthony were together up until this point.

"Bitch be quiet!" Ian yelled. He was past reasoning right now. "Just leave me alone! You two are perfect for each other anyway."

"Ian just wait!" Anthony said as he grabbed Ian's wrist to pull him back. "Just let me explain, please!"

"I don't want to hear it!" Ian cried as he yanked his arm back and started running back home.

_I knew it. Even Anthony can't love me and I don't blame him._

**I don't even know what I was thinking when I wrote this but hopefully you'll like it anyway** **:) And btw when Anthony was sitting on the slide, just look at the picture he has for his twitter and facebook header. That's the image I was thinking of.**_  
_


	4. The next morning

**A/N: This is more like a filler chapter so not much happens. Sorry :P**

* * *

Did you mean what you said chapter 4

**Anthony's POV**

Since the incident in the park the yesterday, Ian and Anthony both refused to talk to each other. Anthony had practically been banished from their bedroom, forced to sleep on the old bed in their spare room. He grew more and more frustrated as he replayed the memories of yesterday in his head. Kristin had been miffed, to say the least, when she found out that he was dating Ian.

_Flashback_

"_Why didn't you tell me you two were dating?!" Kristin demanded once Ian and ran off. Anthony flinched from her harsh tone before answering._

"_I forgot…" he said stupidly._

"_Well generally if you go to someone for advice it's useful to know these things!" she said angrily. "And also, I thought there was another reason you wanted to talk." _

_Anthony just shook his head as he realised what she was implying. Typical, she was just using him._

"_So the only reason you were so eager to give me your number was so I could ask you out?" he asked._

"_I thought it was obvious," she stated as she crossed her arms._

"_I'm so outta here," he said, the look of disappointment was clear on his face._

He groaned as he rolled over in his bed. How did things escalate so quickly within one day? It was so confusing. Eventually he decided to drag himself out of bed and get some breakfast. _No use moping around all day. Might as well get some stuff done._

Ian was still locked away in their bedroom when Anthony walked past. This didn't surprise Anthony at all; Ian wasn't the best at dealing with his emotions and this was just one of many things he had learned about Ian over the years. Ian's anger had never been directed at him before though. Then again, Ian had never accused him of cheating until now. That really didn't help matters.

Anthony got some toast and then sat down at their table, munching away. About five minutes later, Ian walked into the kitchen. Anthony was about to say "hey" but then he remembered he was meant to be giving him silent treatment and held back. Unless it was something important about Smosh, he wasn't going to give in so soon.

**Ian's POV**

When Ian woke up, he was confused by the empty space beside him in the bed, until he remembered the events from yesterday. When he had gone to the park for some breathing space, he hadn't expected Anthony to be there. Especially in the arms of a girl he didn't even know! _I can't believe he did this to me, after all we've gone through as well. _Ian's eyes started burning as he felt the unshed tears appearing but they didn't fall. He had already dried himself out by crying himself to sleep last night. _I've gotta face him sometime. Might as well get out of bed. _He pulled on his Legend of Smosh hoodie and softly padded out of the bedroom. He noticed Anthony glancing up at him as he walked into the kitchen and it looked like he was about to say something but changed his mind at the last minute. _This is gonna be a long day._

Ian just ignored him and got himself some cereal and started making tea. He loved tea, especially when he needed cheering up. When he had finally finished making his breakfast, Anthony was practically done. He sat down opposite him at the table, avoiding his gaze and hoping that he would leave quickly, which he did. Anthony didn't want to endure the awkwardness any more than Ian did.

When Anthony walked off, Ian was just left alone to reflect on things. _Wait, we've got to film something today haven't we? Oh shit, how are we gonna manage it now? He's not talking to me and I'm definitely not gonna make the first move. He could have at least apologized or said something. This is gonna be so awkward!_

Ian groaned inwardly and got up to put his bowl and mug in the kitchen sink. _Time to get ready for a day of filming I guess._

* * *

**Thanks for continuing to read this story, even if it has been dragging out a bit. Hopefully the ending will be worth it :)**


	5. Procrastinating

**I finally got to update this today because I got sent home early due to a lot of snow. Yay! *Happy dance* Enjoy :)**

Procrastinating

Ian and Anthony, along with the rest of the Smosh crew, had been busy filming part of a new Smosh video for nearly the whole day. It was so convenient shooting videos inside their own home; it meant they didn't actually have to go anywhere.

Despite Ian and Anthony not speaking properly, filming hadn't gone too badly. It had been slightly awkward at times but not many other people had noticed anything different. Clearly all those acting lessons that they had done in the past had paid off.

"Do you guys want to get something to eat now that we're done?" Brian, one of the crew members, asked them.

"Yeah sure," Ian and Anthony replied in unison. They both turned round to glare at each other before turning back to face Brian.

"On second thought, if Anthony is gonna be there then I'd rather not," Ian said stiffly before walking off to his room and slamming the door.

"Um…I've got some editing to catch up on anyway," Anthony mumbled. "Maybe next time Brian."

"Okay…?" Brian replied. He had no idea what was going on between Ian and Anthony but he decided it would be best just to leave them to it. No point getting caught up in unnecessary drama. "See you later I guess."

About fifteen minutes later, everyone had packed up and left. They had the house to themselves once again. Anthony felt really uncomfortable being trapped in the house with Ian. The only time they had spoken to each other for the whole day was when it was written in the script. He had no idea how they'd managed to pull that off but they did. In the middle of his thoughts, Anthony's phone started ringing. His ringtone was a stupid Spice Girls song, "Wannabe" for those who are interested. Ian must have set it to that as a joke when he wasn't looking. Anthony let out a tiny giggle before checking the caller ID. _Ugh it's Kristin. What the hell does she want now? _He rolled his eyes before answering.

Anthony: _What? _

Kristin: _Hi, it's Kristin._

Anthony: _I know that._

Kristin: _Look, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I was just mad because I felt stupid for not knowing you and Ian were dating. Yeah I wanted to go out with you, but I did care about your problem too._

Anthony: _Well it doesn't matter now. Ian thinks I cheated on him and I don't even know if we're together anymore._

Kristin: _That's awful! I'm so sorry Anthony!_

Anthony: _Yeah right._

Kristin: _I really am! I was being selfish before and I wish I could change what happened._

Anthony: _Why were you so willing to help me out anyway? We'd never really spoken properly before yesterday._

Kristin:_ Because you're cute and I like helping people._

Anthony: _…_

Kristin: _Come on, I'm complimenting you here!_

Anthony: _See, that's what caused so much trouble in the first place. I thought you were just being friendly and it was all innocent which obviously wasn't true. And then Ian showed up at exactly the wrong moment!_

Kristin: _It's not my fault he didn't let you explain! Have you even tried to talk to him about it since yesterday?_

Anthony: _…No_

Kristin: _What? And you wonder why he's still mad?_

Anthony: _He's been giving me silent treatment so I'm only doing it back! And anyway he's not the only one who got hurt. I've been his best friend for over fifteen years and he didn't believe me! And he couldn't even trust me enough to tell me why he was upset yesterday. Seriously, who does that?_

Kristin: _He probably would have told you about it, if you just gave him time. It only happened yesterday, remember? Some people need time to think things out by themselves. _

Anthony: _But we always tell each other everything! Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you love suffer and not be able to do anything about it? It's horrible!_

Kristin: _Well, he's not gonna open up to you until you explain what really went on yesterday. He still thinks you cheated on him so he's gonna be pretty torn up about it. He needs to know the truth._

Anthony: _But…I'm scared._

Kristin: _Why? You didn't do anything wrong._

Anthony: _What if he still doesn't believe me? Or he doesn't want me back? I don't think I'd be able to take it if that happened._

Kristin: _He's not gonna take you back if you don't at least try to tell him what happened. Things aren't gonna get any worse than they are now._

Anthony: _I suppose you're right but-_

Kristin: _No buts. You're gonna tell him. And the sooner the better._

And with that, she hung up. Anthony just sighed with the realisation that what she was saying made sense. But he still wanted some sort of excuse to get out of doing it just yet. Ian could be intimidating sometimes, but Anthony would never admit this out loud because he was meant to be the dominant one in their relationship.

After a figuring out what he wanted to do as a distraction, he texted Brian asking if it was too late to join him. He got an almost instant reply saying "Don't worry, there's still time if you want to come. You can just meet us at Nandos and we'll let the people know that we're expecting on more person." Anthony smiled as he texted his answer back "I'm on my way. I love my chicken :D".

Once he got into the car, Anthony could feel his conscience nagging at him in the back of his mind. _"You're only running away from your problems. Stop being a pussy and just talk to him!" _Anthony pounded his fist on the steering wheel in response, accidentally honking his horn in the process and scaring off a nearby cat. Normally he would have laughed at something like that but he wasn't in the mood. He plugged his iPhone into the car and put on the Collide With the Sky album. The song "King For A Day" started blasting out of the speakers and he relaxed slightly. Kellin and Vic's screaming vocals were a good way to distract himself from thinking about…Ian. He pulled out of the driveway and started his journey whilst head banging to his favourite loud songs.

**A/N:**

***I don't think Nandos is that widespread in America. I looked it up a while ago and apparently it's only available in a few states or something like that. If you aren't familiar with it, it's an amazing chicken restaurant. I love it so much! It's not that great if you're vegetarian though. I'm not American so I just went with that place because I know it well.**

***A while ago Anthony tweeted about how he thought the new Pierce the Veil album was awesome so I know for a fact that he listens to them which makes me really happy for some reason xD**

***If you don't know what the song sounds like then I highly recommend listening to it on youtube because it's amazing and it will help you understand Anthony's POV a bit more. Maybe. **


	6. Talking at last?

**A/N: Sorry for the slow updates! I've already told you what's going on so I'm not gonna really make any excuses. But here's the new chapter :)**

**Anthony's POV**

Anthony stretched out his limbs and did a massive yawn as he checked the time on his phone. It said 12:05pm. _Oops, I probably should have got up earlier but I'm so tired! I can't even remember what time I got home last night. It's a good thing today is a slow Smosh day otherwise I'd be screwed._

He was just about to close his eyes again for a few more precious minutes of sleep when he got a text. He groaned as he reached for his phone again and read the message. It was Kristin, saying "Have you explained everything to him yet?" _I was trying to push that from my mind thank you very much. I need to shower and eat first before I even think about what I need to say anyway._

"No, I haven't and don't rush me. These things take time." he replied and turned off his phone so that he couldn't be pestered about it anymore. _She reminds me of Navi! Honestly!_

He walked into the kitchen and noticed that there was a bright yellow sticky note on the fridge door. Anthony raised his eyebrows slightly as he read it.

"I've gone out for a run, haven't done that in while have I? I need to talk to you when I get back- it's important. And I'm sick of us not talking, even if you are a dirty cheater it's still nice to hear your voice".

"I didn't cheat on you!" Anthony growled as he screwed up the note and threw it on the ground. (A/N: Hehe, did you like my Lonely Island reference? xD). In his head he could almost hear Kristin saying "I told you so!" Yeah, he really should have just explained things as soon as he got the chance. But it was embarrassing! He had to get advice about his "boyfriend troubles" off someone who was practically a stranger because he was too shy to ask his real friends about it seeing as they were all straight guys. Also, he didn't want any of them telling Ian or making it obvious that they knew Ian was upset about something. That would have led to a lot of awkwardness. _Ugh, dating your best friend is so much hassle! _He banged his head against the door of the fridge as he thought about Ian. _Oh Ian, if I knew loving you would cause so many problems I wouldn't have fallen for you in the first place. _What a shame you can't choose who you fall for Anthony. What a shame.

**Ian's POV**

Ian panted as he leant against a nearby tree. He had just completed his run- 7 miles without stopping which was pretty good considering he couldn't remember the last time he had done that. All he knew was that it was sometime early last year. He'd forgotten how much he enjoyed it. Plus, he wanted to try and lose weight. Maybe then the haters would finally shut up and leave him alone. _I think I'm ready to tell Anthony about it now. I've been avoiding it for long enough and even if he doesn't love me anymore; I still want to tell him. He's probably the only one who would listen anyway. _He took a large swig from his water bottle before he started his light jog back home.

Almost fifteen minutes later he was back home and he headed straight for the shower. Just as he was about to open the bathroom door, it swung open and Anthony walked out, towelling dry his dark locks. His other towel hung dangerously low on his waist and Ian just stood staring at him, completely captivated by the sight in front of him. _I had no idea I missed him this much. It's only been two days and I forgot how good he looks when he's shirtless._

"Hey Ian," Anthony's words snapped Ian out of his trance and he started blushing furiously as he realised he had been staring at Anthony so blatantly.

"Er… h-hey Anthony," Ian stuttered as he looked away, unable to make eye contact. "Did you only just get up or something?"

"Yeah, a few minutes ago," Anthony replied. He had to force himself not to smirk when he noticed that Ian was blushing. _Aw how cute. He still gets embarrassed even though he's seen it a thousand times before. _"I'm guessing you want to use the bathroom?"

"Y-yeah," Ian said quietly as Anthony stepped out of the doorway. Ian rushed inside, locked the door behind him and exhaled loudly as he thought about what had just happened. _Well that wasn't awkward at all! _He shook his head at himself as he stripped down and jumped in the shower.

The hot water cascaded down on him and Ian relaxed a little. He started singing softly, and slightly subconsciously. He nearly always sang in the shower, it was his way of starting off the day on a positive note.

"They say love is forever, your forever is all that I need. Please stay as long as you need…" Ian sang and started smiling to himself as he remembered the significance of that song. Anthony had dedicated that song to him for their 3rd anniversary. It was so cheesy that it was actually cute. That's when the tears started forming. It was just a painful reminder of what happened two days ago. _Anthony, I'm sorry if I wasn't good enough for you. I'll always love you, even if you don't love me anymore. _

**Both their POV I guess**

Anthony had just finished getting dressed when he heard the familiar sound of Ian's voice. Even though it usually annoyed him when Ian sang in the shower – they had completely different musical tastes- he started smiling when he realised what song it was. It was _their _song and it meant a lot to him. The fact that Ian was singing it gave him hope that Ian would listen to him and take him back. If they had even broken up, he wasn't too sure.

Anthony's daydreams were interrupted when Ian stopped singing. He would have asked him to carry on but it would have been weird giving song requests to a guy in the bathroom. _Hmm, a shower time concert!_ He found the whole thing ridiculous and started laughing despite himself.

Eventually he heard a knock on his door and he immediately told Ian to come in. Ian fidgeted nervously in the doorway before walking over to sit down on Anthony's bed.

"So…I read your note. You said you had something important to talk to me about?" Anthony asked as he looked over at Ian who was staring at the carpet, still trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say.

"Yeah I did," Ian confirmed as he gathered the right words in his head. "I just wanna know…why did you cheat on me? Was it something I did?" Even though Ian wasn't looking at him, he could hear the hurt in his voice and knew that he was already on the verge of tears.

"Ian, listen to me," Anthony said sternly. Ian looked over at him and was slightly startled by how intense his gaze was. "I never cheated on you and I never will. You should know I'm not like that."

"But then why were you with that girl?" Ian asked. "Who is she anyway?" Ian thought she looked vaguely familiar but he wasn't sure if it was just a coincidence.

"Her name's Kristin, she works at the pizza place we always go to when we're doing lunchtime," Anthony explained. "I'll tell you why I was with her. Just promise me you won't get mad."

"Well why would I get mad if you weren't doing anything wrong?" Ian asked him with slight suspicion. Anthony looked away before answering.

"I was worried about you," Anthony mumbled. "After you were on the laptop two days ago, you were really upset about something. You wouldn't tell me what it was even though I wanted to know so I could help you."

"Anthony-

"Let me finish," Anthony cut him off. "You were so miserable and it was really depressing to watch. I know it sounds stupid but when I see you cry, it makes me wanna cry too."

"Anthony-," Ian interrupted.

"I'm not finished yet," Anthony cut him off again. "The fact that you couldn't talk to me about it made me feel like you couldn't trust me or something. Like I didn't mean as much to you as you do to me." Ian looked shocked but didn't say anything.

"I wanted some advice on what to do but I couldn't ask any of my real friends about it," Anthony sighed as he said this.

"Why not?" Ian whispered.

"Can you imagine giving someone advice about their boyfriend when you're a straight guy? You wouldn't have a clue what to say and it would be so awkward!" Anthony groaned as he ran his hand through his hair. "When we were getting pizza the other day Kristin was working there and we started talking."

"So that's why you took forever," Ian said in realisation.

"Yeah it is," Anthony said ruefully. "She gave me her number so I could call her if I needed to talk about my problems, which I did. So we met up at the park later and she was giving me advice when you appeared."  
"W-why was she holding you?" Ian asked nervously. He believed everything Anthony had said so far but he was still paranoid about him and Kristin.

"I was really upset. Like I said before, when you're feeling down it makes me feel bad too. It was tearing me up inside to see you so upset like that when normally you're the most hyper and funny guy I know," Anthony said with a heavy sigh. "I guess that was just her way of comforting me or something and I didn't think twice about it."

Ian was silent after Anthony's mini-speech. He just let the silence consume him as he realised what had happened. He had been so horrible to Anthony when he was only worried about him and trying to help. _Why didn't I realise this before? I'm so stupid! _He tried to hold himself together but he couldn't help it. He started sobbing, his whole body shuddering with each breath. It was his fault. It was his fault they hadn't been talking for the past few days. It was his fault that Anthony had been so worried about him. He felt like such a terrible person.

Anthony looked over at Ian whose sobs startled him slightly. He moved over so that he was right next to him and pulled him in tightly for a warm hug.

"Hey beautiful, why are you crying?" Anthony asked with concern as he kissed Ian's soft hair.

"D-don't… don't call me that!" Ian yelled suddenly as he pushed Anthony off him. His kindness was only making him feel ten times worse. He didn't deserve someone as great as him.

"What? Why?" Anthony panicked. _Doesn't he believe me?_

"Because it's not true!" Ian cried as he turned away from Anthony's dark brown eyes. "I feel so stupid and delusional! Why are you even with me? It's obvious I'm disgusting. I'm just your fat and ugly sidekick. No one wants me, the only reason people watch Smosh is because you're part of it." Ian started crying even harder after he said that. Anthony just stared at him in shocked silence. He honestly couldn't comprehend what Ian had just said. _Is that really what he thinks about himself?_

"Ian, don't you ever say those words again!" Anthony said fiercely. Ian flinched when he heard him speak. "Not one word of that is true! Not one word!"

"Please stop lying to try and make me feel better," Ian said dejectedly and turned so his back was facing Anthony. "This is what people think of me. I heard it from the fans themselves." Anthony got up and sat on the other side of Ian so he could look at his face again. He tried to look away but Anthony wouldn't let him.

"Is that what you saw the other day? Is that what made you so upset?" Anthony questioned him. Ian nodded in confirmation, looking thoroughly ashamed of himself. _Anthony is probably gonna laugh at me now. Who wouldn't? I'm so pathetic. _"Why did you let them get to you so much? We get haters all the time, why is this any different?" Ian just shook his head as he got up and walked out of the room.

"Ian, where are you going? Come back and talk to me!" Anthony yelled. He got up to follow him. By the time he found Ian again, he had got out the laptop and was now scrolling through the Tumblr posts. Ian's bottom lip trembled slightly as he reopened the wounds yet again. _Even if it is true, it just hurts so much to think that people who are supposedly fans of Smosh hate me this much._ When Anthony saw what Ian was looking at, he bit his bottom lip and looked down at Ian who was trying not to break down in tears again.

"Anthony, I don't expect you to understand yet because you don't know everything about my past," Ian said quietly as he continued scrolling to find more hate. Anthony couldn't take it and he grabbed Ian's hand to stop him from looking at more hateful messages.

"Ian, please don't do this to yourself," Anthony pleaded with slight despair. Each new image that Ian saw was a damaging blow to his self-esteem and he didn't want it to go any further. "What don't I know about your past? I thought we knew everything about each other." He didn't want to let on he was disappointed that Ian had been keeping secrets from him but Ian saw through him anyway.

"I know we promised ages ago that we'd tell each other everything but please don't get mad about it," Ian said as he chewed his lip out of nervousness. He was never going to tell him before but after everything that had happened, it seemed pointless keeping it a secret for any longer. He had never told Anthony before because he wanted to pretend that chapter of his life had never happened. If he never talked about it then maybe he could forget it over time. Apparently that wasn't meant to be. "I'm gonna tell you what happened but please don't interrupt or hate me."

"I couldn't hate you even if my life depended on it," Anthony stated firmly. Ian got up from his chair and turned around to face him.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Ian asked him.

"Because I love you!" Anthony shouted in frustration. "We've been together for more than three years and best friends for way longer than that! Or were you too busy feeling sorry for yourself to remember?" Ian's face contorted slightly with the pain he felt after hearing him say that. Anthony slapped his hand over his mouth as he realised what he had just said. It hadn't meant to sound like that at all!

"I guess I have been feeling sorry for myself too much," Ian mumbled as he looked away from Anthony. "Sorry I've been so much trouble. I won't bother you anymore."

"Ian no, that wasn't what I meant-," Anthony began.

"Don't lie to me Anthony," Ian responded in a defeated tone. "You wouldn't have said that if you didn't think it was true." And with that, he took the laptop and ran off to the bathroom where he locked himself in.

Anthony couldn't believe what had just happened. They were _this _close to sorting everything out and he blew it with a bad choice of words. _I am the worst boyfriend ever. All I did was make him feel worse when he came to me for support. _He went over to the bathroom and pounded on the door.

"Ian open the door! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said! Please..." Anthony begged as he continued pounding on the door.

"Go away Anthony! You're making everything worse. Just LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ian's voice cracked as he screamed those last words at him which was when Anthony decided that he should just give up for now. Simply just saying sorry wasn't going to fix this mess. Ian was fragile, even if he didn't usually show it. It had taken him years to gather up the courage to share his past with him and Anthony had just thrown it back in his face before he even got the chance.

Ian sat against the door hugging his knees tightly. It was stupid of him to almost reveal his secret. The only person you can fully trust is yourself. From now on, he was going to deal with this alone.

**A/N: Sooo, what do you guys think? Who are you more annoyed with right now? Ian or Anthony? Let me know haha.**

**The song that Ian was singing in the shower was "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" by Sleeping With Sirens. You don't have to listen to it if you don't want to but I suggest you look up the lyrics to the song so you can understand why it was so important to them. Do it for me? :)**


	7. I'm Sorry

**Anthony's POV**

It was 1 am and Anthony still couldn't sleep. He huffed in annoyance as he turned over in his tangled bed sheets. It was his third night sleeping alone and he still wasn't used to it. He never realised how much he depended on Ian until they started fighting. Sleeping right next to his best friend was comforting in ways that no one else would understand and it was something he had taken for granted over the years. _I know we aren't on the best terms right now but I really want him beside me._

After a few more minutes of trying to get to sleep, he got out of bed dressed in just his boxers and crept over to the room he shared with Ian. Well, _used _ to share. He pushed the door open slowly so as not to wake him and couldn't help grinning when he saw Ian. He looked so peaceful and he was hugging the Pikachu plushie that they sometimes used in their videos. It was so adorable.

Anthony tiptoed to the side of the bed and lifted the covers so he could lie down right next to him.

"I really wish I hadn't messed things up," Anthony whispered to himself as he watched Ian's body rise and fall with each breath. "You're so beautiful you know." He reached out to stroke Ian's cheek and couldn't resist kissing it.

"Fuck it," Anthony murmured softly. He wrapped his arms around Ian and moved in even closer. "I don't care if you don't want me to sleep here. I'm holding onto you and never letting go." He pecked Ian's lips softly then rested his head back down on the pillow for some well-deserved sleep.

**Ian's POV**

Ian opened his eyes groggily and jumped when he saw Anthony lying next to him. He was especially startled by the fact that he couldn't move because his arms were wrapped around him. _Why the hell is he in our bed? Especially after what he said yesterday. _He was still really pissed off at him so he grabbed Anthony's nose and covered his mouth so he would wake up.

Anthony spluttered a few moments later and his eyes opened wide in shock.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Anthony asked incredulously. "Are you really that childish?"

"Well why the fuck are you in my bed?" Ian shot back at him.

"_Our _ bed," Anthony corrected him. Ian opened his mouth to say something back but Anthony carried on talking anyway. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"So?" Ian asked in an annoyed tone.

"I miss sleeping next to you Ian. We've been together for over three years and this is the first time we've gotten into a proper argument." Anthony explained. He sat up in the bed and Ian did the same.

"Well this is the first time you've acted like an asshole," Ian retorted as he crossed his arms. Anthony was being so annoying right now. Going on about how he missed him when he was the one who fucked up in the first place. Kind of.

"I didn't mean it!" Anthony shouted defensively. "I was upset about you and everything else that's going on and my words came out wrong."

"It sounded like you meant it to me," Ian replied stubbornly. "If that's not what you wanted to say then what did you actually mean?" Ian sighed. He really shouldn't be giving Anthony the chance to speak. What he said yesterday was unacceptable whether it was an accident or not.

"When I said that, I just meant that you shouldn't let yourself get so down about what some dumb haters think," after saying that he looked at Ian. He didn't show any signs of protesting so Anthony continued. "They don't know you the way I do. It's the opinion of the people who love you for who you are that should matter. Not some anonymous person hiding behind a screen."

"But if the fans hate me then what's the point in me even making videos?" Ian asked.

"Those people aren't fans Ian! You can't be a fan of Smosh if you hate half of it, can you?" Anthony wisely pointed out. "You're forgetting about the insane amount of people who love you." Ian just shook his head which made Anthony mad. Ian couldn't see how much he meant to millions of people all around the world and Anthony was extremely angry with the people who had made him think that way.

"Smosh is a comedy channel and you're hilarious! You're funnier than me so automatically you're gonna be the favourite! People don't watch our videos for you or for me. They watch it for both of us because we're a team. We always have been." Anthony spoke with a raw passion in his voice that Ian had never heard before. _Does he really love me this much?_

"Do you really mean that?" Ian asked him as he stared into his chocolate brown eyes.

"Of course I do," Anthony replied.

"Thank you so much Anthony," Ian said with a warm smile as he moved in to hug him tightly. Anthony wrapped his arms around him protectively and kissed his forehead gently.

"You're so beautiful and if the world can't see it then it's their loss," Anthony whispered before sealing his words with a gentle kiss. In that moment, all of Ian's troubles were forgotten because nothing else mattered more than Anthony and the way he felt.

"I've missed you so much you know," Anthony mumbled as they broke apart to catch their breath.

"I've missed you too but we should probably get out of bed," Ian flashed him a grin before jumping out of bed and leaving Anthony sitting in a daze.

"Why?" Anthony enquired. He had no idea about their plans for the day.

"We're filming lunchtime with Smosh, bitch!" Ian replied before waltzing off to the kitchen.

**Anthony's POV**

Anthony collapsed back onto the sheets and stared at the ceiling as he remembered something. _Wait, he never told me about his past._

**A/N: They're finally back together! Woo! Dance partay! Anyway there's gonna be another chapter so don't stop reading just yet. Hopefully the ending will live up to your expectations. :D I always cringe when writing cheesy stuff like this but you seem to like it right?**

**One more thing, leave your twitter questions in the comments below or message me so I can use them for the next chapter. I'll try and include as many as I can. It will probably be a while before the next chapter is out just to warn you guys.**


	8. Lunchtime with Smosh Take Two

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who gave me twitter questions. I used them from both wattpad and here so you won't recognise all of them. And to all of you who didn't ask me questions, shame on you! Just kidding haha.**

Anthony joined Ian in the kitchen and started getting himself some food. Ian turned around and smiled when he saw him.

"Aren't you gonna put on some clothes?" Ian asked him whilst laughing slightly. Anthony was still wearing only his boxers, not that he minded of course.

"Hmm…" Anthony said whilst pretending to think about it. "Only if you help me put them on." Ian knew he was only joking but it sounded tempting anyway.

"Don't tease me," Ian scolded and turned back around to make some tea. Of course, Anthony completely ignored him and wrapped his arms around Ian's waist from behind him and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"Or what?" Anthony whispered. His breath tickled Ian's neck and it turned him on slightly, not that he would ever let Anthony know that.

Ian decided to stay silent and continued what he was doing. Anthony pretended to be hurt and gave him puppy dog eyes whilst whining.

"My boyfriend is ignoring meeee!" he pouted and pressed himself even closer to Ian.

"Don't start something unless you're gonna finish it," Ian muttered before escaping Anthony's grasp and sitting down at the table. Anthony just laughed at how flustered Ian looked and grabbed himself some cereal. He joined Ian at the table and they sat there quietly until Anthony spoke.

"Ian, you're not still upset about before are you?" Anthony asked him.

"Well, I'm not exactly over the moon about it but what can I do? People are always gonna think what they think," Ian replied before taking a sip of his tea. _Mmm, refreshing._

"You never just have tea by itself for breakfast unless you're not feeling right," Anthony said before crossing his arms and staring at his boyfriend. There was definitely something else on Ian's mind and he knew it had to be something to do with the secret he's been keeping.

"I'm fine," Ian tried to assure him. Anthony just rolled his eyes and gave him the _look_ he always used whenever Ian tried lying to him. Ian just sighed when he saw it. "I'll tell you later but I'm in an okay mood right now and I don't want to ruin it." Anthony just nodded in understanding before going back to his cereal.

_In the car about two hours later._

Ian held the camera close to Anthony's face as they tried to decide on what to eat.

"Can we get pizza, pretty please?" Anthony begged him in a babyish voice.

"Absolutely not," Ian said firmly whilst shaking his head. "Why don't you ask for some twitter questions before we leave. Give the fans a chance to come up with some questions."

"Okay," Anthony replied and he reached for his phone which was when he remembered that he left it in the house. "Hold on one second, I left my phone in our room."

He dashed back inside and got his phone. It had been switched off since yesterday when he got annoyed with Kristin pestering him. He was only slightly surprised when he saw he had about ten text messages and seven missed calls. All of them from Kristin of course. He scrolled through all the texts and couldn't help laughing as they got increasingly threatening and slightly creepy the further down he went.

_Anthony you know I'm right! Don't try to ignore me._

_Hey what happened?! Don't leave me out I wanna know NOW!_

And his personal favourite:

_I swear I'm gonna track down where you live, break in and lock all three of us in a room together until you make up right in front of me! I'll bring pepper spray if I have to!_

Yep, women are crazy. Thank goodness he avoided that problem by dating Ian.

He got back in the car and tweeted, asking for twitter questions for lunchtime with Smosh.

"Took you long enough," Ian remarked.

"I had business to attend to!" Anthony said dramatically before grinning at him. "You missed me didn't you?"

"Nope, it was actually a relief to have your pizza-loving face out of my car," Ian replied before putting on his seatbelt.

"That doesn't even make any sense," Anthony chuckled before also putting on his seatbelt.

"Seems like you've conveniently forgotten about the time when you got a pizza facial," Ian said as he zoomed in on Anthony's face.

"That was for a video!" Anthony protested.

"Yeah, a video that you helped write the script for," Ian retorted. "I specifically remember you putting that bit in."

"Fine, you win this time," Anthony huffed as they finally pulled out of the garage.

"Why do you think I'm the master of comebacks?" Ian said with a mischievous grin.

_In the restaurant._

In the end they decided to get Thai food because it tastes amazing. And because Anthony could tease Ian about the time he dropped all of their food on the floor. He was never gonna let that one go!

"We got Thai food!" Ian said excitedly into the camera as they walked back to the car.

"Yeah and this time I'm holding the bag so that Ian doesn't drop the food again like an idiot!" Anthony said in the same enthusiastic tone.

"It wasn't my fault the bag ripped!" Ian exclaimed defensively.

"The bag was weighed down with a crap ton of food and you didn't even hold the bottom of the bag like a normal person would," Anthony said mockingly. "So it is your fault the bag ripped."

"Whatever," Ian shrugged. "At least I didn't have to clean it up."

They got back in the car and started their journey back home, laughing and joking along the way as per usual.

As soon as they got home, Ian just had to comment about the barbershop pole.

"FUCK YOU BARBERSHOP POLE!" Ian yelled in mock anger before getting out of the car. "YOU SLEPT WITH MY FUTURE WIFE!"

"Hey I'm not a girl!" Anthony reminded him.

"Who said I was talking about you?" Ian replied sassily. That led to an awkward silence. They'd never really made jokes like that before. In fact, they'd never really thought about what they wanted in the future. What they had was great and they were pretty settled but marriage between two guys is illegal and they didn't really see the point in civil partnership. It's like being given a plain cookie when everyone else gets chocolate chip. Sure, you still get a cookie out of it but you can't help wishing you got the same treatment everyone else did. You just know that what you have isn't as good as what they have.

Ian cleared his throat awkwardly and walked off, leaving Anthony staring at the floor.

"Anthony your food is gonna get cold and I can't really do lunchtime with Smosh on my own!" Ian called out from inside. Anthony snapped out of his thoughts and went to join him.

"You didn't have your first bite without me did you?" Anthony asked him.

"Of course I did!" Ian replied. "Mmm foodgasm!"

"This better not be as spicy as the last time," Anthony said before taking his first bite.

"Well?" Ian looked at him expectantly.

"It's actually pretty good!" Anthony said with a smile before eating some more.

After eating for a while, they knew it was time.

"Anthony I do believe it's time for something," Ian said. Anthony took a dramatic pause before singing.

"Finding twitter questions! Finding twitter questions!" he sang whilst doing the action with his arm.

"Did you just say titter questions?" Ian asked him purposefully for the people that still couldn't figure out what Anthony was saying.

"Twitter," Anthony emphasized.

"Oh that makes sense now!" Ian exclaimed. Anthony took his time scrolling through the spam tweets before finding some reasonable questions.

"Kay_bear99 asks: What is the weirdest thing you ate and why?" Anthony said and he couldn't help snickering slightly.

"Well I'm gonna have to say Ian's mom," he responded. Predictable as usual. Ian just grimaced at the thought. The things Anthony said about his mom were so disgusting!

"Ew, Anthony!" Ian complained.

"What, at least she enjoyed it," Anthony replied with a wink. Ian proceeded to fake throwing up. Just no no no! "What about you Ian?"

"I honestly can't narrow it down. I've tasted so many disgusting foods that you guys have sent me that I'm surprised my taste buds still work properly," Ian said with a shudder as he remembered some of the grossest things he's ever eaten in his life. Foreigners are weird.

"5js123 asks: What do you guys like oh your ice cream?" Anthony read out. "Well I do love vanilla."

"Anthony is known to enjoy having creamy white substances in his mouth," Ian smirked.

Anthony just blushed and tried distracting himself from bad thoughts about him and Ian as he continued looking for questions.

"Hey this is a good question," Anthony said. "Well, not exactly a question. Cleomegu101 tells us to have a sexy dance party."

"I'm up for that," Ian grinned. "What song should we put on?"

"Milky Milkshake," Anthony responded before bursting out laughing.

They went into the living room and Ian set up the camera so that both of them could be in the shot. Anthony put on the song and the fun began.

As to be expected, their dance involved lots of air humping and grinding up against each other.

"Oh yeah," Anthony fake moaned as he grinded up against Ian. "We are so sexy!"  
"Two sexy mofos!" Ian replied before grabbing his ass. They would have to cut out a LOT of this footage later if they ever wanted to release this on the internet. They stopped dancing before they took things too far.

"Well thanks for that question Cleo," Ian laughed as they sat back down at the table.

"We are definitely gonna continue that session once this episode is done," Anthony said in a seductive voice. Ian couldn't tell if Anthony was being serious or not but just decided to let it slide. For now.

"Well now that our food is done what would you rate the food?" Ian asked him.

"Ten hot grinding sessions out of eleven," Anthony replied instantly.

"That's a lot of grinding sessions," Ian said into the camera.

"See you next week!" Anthony shouted.

"BYE!"

"BITCH!"

And with that Ian turned off the camera and started to pack away the rubbish left over from their food. Anthony got up and helped him.

"So Ian, about those grinding sessions…" Anthony whispered in his ear playfully.

"Anthony!" Ian exclaimed. Anthony teased him all the time and he got so worked up about it. Another cute thing about Ian to add to Anthony's list.

"Sorry, I know you don't like being teased," Anthony brushed his hand over Ian's crotch before walking away.

"Unbelievable," Ian muttered under his breath.

**A/N: There was gonna be more but I decided to have one chapter dedicated to lunchtime seeing as the next one is gonna have a more serious tone than lunchtime with Smosh. It just didn't feel right putting them together in the same chapter which you'll understand when you finally get to read it.**


	9. The big reveal

**A/N: Well it's been a while hasn't it? I wasn't really sure how I was gonna write this. Hopefully it's alright. Maybe I could have done better but I don't know. I always get paranoid that I've written a bunch of crap anyway so I'll shut up now.**

* * *

After playing Nintendo Land for about an hour, Ian and Anthony were just relaxing together on the couch.

"See, I told you the Wii U is fun," Anthony said happily.

"Yeah yeah Nintendo fanboy," Ian teased him.

"I'm a fanboy for a good reason!" Anthony argued. "They have amazing games and have been around for ages and are way more original than stupid Microsoft."

"Bitch, you did not just go there!" Ian said as he crossed his arms in annoyance.

"Oh yes I did," Anthony taunted him. "I would much rather play Legend of Zelda than Halo. It's way more awesome and that's a fact."

"Sure it is," Ian dismissed him. "You just stick to your little kiddie games and let the grown-ups play our own games."

"You're forgetting that I'm older than you," Anthony laughed.

"Only by two and half months!" Ian said defensively.

"Aw, my little baby Ian!" Anthony grinned whilst pulling Ian into a bear hug.

"Honestly Anthony," Ian complained as he tried to get out of Anthony's grasp.

He pretended to hate it when Anthony teased him like this but the truth is that he actually enjoyed it. It reminded him of why they started dating in the first place. Relationships like theirs don't come by too often and they tried to make the most of it.

"Hey, you're not leaving," Anthony said before pulling him in for a kiss. Ian immediately relaxed against him as he felt Anthony's soft lips press against his own. Their lips moved together in slow harmony before Anthony pulled away.

"Hey, why did you stop?" Ian protested. "That kiss was so short."

"I'm sorry it's just that I can't stop thinking about what you said before," Anthony replied as he rubbed his neck in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Ian asked him.

"I just want to know what you were talking about when you said I don't know everything about your past," Anthony said. Ian just sighed deeply when he heard this. He knew it was time. He couldn't avoid it forever. "I'm sorry. I don't want to force you into it."

"Don't worry Anthony," Ian replied. "I need to tell you this anyway so I might as well do it now." Ian paused for a moment before he began to tell him the truth.

"Before I met you I was bullied a lot," Ian began slowly. "I know I already told you that before, didn't I?"

"Yeah you did," Anthony nodded his head and waited for him to continue. "You never really told me what happened though."

"Well, it started off with just simple name calling," Ian continued. "I could deal with that, it's what kids do anyway. But then it started getting worse. No one ever wanted to sit next to me because I was the unpopular fat kid. People didn't want to talk to me because then they'd get the same treatment. I was always on my own. I thought I had real friends that I could count on but they just abandoned me. It eventually moved onto more physical stuff. I was constantly being shoved into the walls when I was walking down the hallway. They used to steal my lunch and stamp on it right in front of me. They used to always tell me that I didn't need my lunch because I had enough fat to live off. It hurt a lot, but I always tried to keep my hopes up because I thought things would get better. I guess I was wrong." Ian started shaking slightly as he remembered some of his darkest memories. Anthony had to wrap his arm even tighter around him in attempt to calm him down.

"Ian, it's okay," Anthony murmured in his ear. "You don't have to tell me all of it just yet if it's hurting too much."

"I'm fine, don't worry about me," Ian told him. He took a deep breath before continuing with his story. "That wasn't really the main problem anyway."

_*Flashback*_

Ian ran up the stairs and straight to his room. He slammed the door shut and slid down to the floor with tears streaming down his face.

"I can't take it anymore," he whimpered. "I've always tried to be nice to people and now I can't even have one peaceful day anymore."

"IAN HECOX!" Ian trembled as he heard his dad's loud footsteps approaching his bedroom door. He dived under his bed just before his dad burst in.

"Where are you, you fat piece of shit?!" he yelled as he scanned the room. He heard sniffling coming from underneath the bed and he pulled back the covers to reveal a ten year old boy shaking in fear.

"Please don't hurt me dad!" Ian pleaded as he looked at him through watery eyes.

"Why are you back from school early? You think I would let you get away with it?!" his dad seethed with anger as he dragged Ian out by his wrist.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed as his dad kicked him in the stomach repeatedly.

"Your mother and I provide you with food and clothes and you repay us by bunking off school?"

"It wasn't like that I swear!" Ian cried out as his dad slapped him across the face.

"I didn't ask for your explanations! Just remember this, whatever they do to you at school, you fully deserve it," he spat out at Ian before walking out of his room. An overwhelming sense of pain and wooziness overcame him before he passed out on his bedroom floor.

Ian woke up about three hours later, aching all over. The house was completely quiet because his mom was out and his sister was still at school. He managed to drag himself off the floor and looked in his parent's bedroom just to check where his dad was and was only slightly surprised to find all of his dad's things missing.

"So, he finally moved out just like he said he would," Ian said to himself.

_*End flashback*_

"The bullying mainly started with my dad. He used to always tell me that I was a disappointment and that I should be more like my older sister. Somehow he managed to hide it from my mom and I didn't want to say anything to her because I was scared of him, you know," Ian said as he rubbed his eyes. "When I told him about what was happening at school he just laughed and told me I deserved it. Then when I ran home from school that day he beat me up. I was the reason he left home in the first place and I'll never forgive myself for that."

"Ian…" was all Anthony could manage to say before bursting into tears.

"Anthony you never cry. What's wrong?" Ian asked him as he saw the tears streaming down Anthony's face. He was usually so controlled; he couldn't actually remember the last time he had seen him cry.

"It's sad dammit!" Anthony cried as he covered his face with his hands. "You shouldn't have had to go through all of that and you shouldn't blame yourself for your dad moving out. He moved out because he's an asshole, not because of anything you did."

"Anthony, he used to always tell me that he was leaving as soon as he got the chance just to get away from me. He hated me and that's that," Ian shook his head at the memories.

"I really wish I could have been there for you. I can't believe you kept that all to yourself for so long," Anthony sniffed quietly.

"I had to move on with my life and that was easier once he was gone and I moved schools. I never really had to think about the past once I met you anyway," Ian said.

"Why's that?" Anthony looked over at him.

"You helped me see the best things in life. You made me feel special and like my life had a purpose," Ian whispered. "Even though you had no clue at the time, you saved me Anthony Padilla."

* * *

**A/N: What? I ended the story like that? You bet I did, bitch. Let me know what you thought because I'm really unsure about this :S **


End file.
